So, here we are, in New Hampshire, and after what seems like many months of insanity, life is returning to normal. Which should, in turn, lead to the long-promised awakening of this here website from its extended slumber.
To the much older Sophie who is reading this and wondering why we didn’t do any in-depth chronicling of the last six or seven months of her life: If you had just been willing to go to sleep once in awhile, kid, it would have been so much easier.
Anyway, before we commence talking in detail about how cute our baby Bean is, and all the products we could not have lived without during the last nine months, I was inspired by J at Thinking About… to share some genuine celebrity correspondence.
That’s right, I’m talking about the Supernanny. Well, specifically, someone who works in casting at Supernanny, but whatever. The point is, we have an autographed picture of a real live television celebrity and you don’t. So there.
But that isn’t all. I will now share with you the unexcerpted wisdom offered to us by Supernanny. (Again, this was technically written by someone who works for her, but I’m sure she dictated it. Or at least read it before it was mailed out):
Dear Mrs. Giles,
Thank you for watching Supernanny! We understand that all parents need a little help sometimes, and that’s why Jo is happy to help. Sure, maybe you’re not the best parent in the world, maybe you huck whiskey bottles at cop cars while taking your child for a stroll, but who can honestly say they’ve never done that?
Jo Frost, Supernanny, understands. We hope you like the signed photo of Jo, as well as the car window shade.
And always remember what Jo says: “Your children are like flowers; flowers who will one day grow up and be pretty pissed off at you for being such a crappy parent, and who’ll probably try to murder you, probably in your sleep, and to make it even more painful, they’ll probably do it while pretending that they love you, so, you know, look out for that, and also, be careful when anyone loves you.”
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
Supernanny, Inc.
You are so unbelievably jealous right now that you don’t even know what to do with yourself.
Be back soon!