Tardy, but fluttering

Corky Hat 1

I haven’t even written about the birth of my son yet. Owen will be 5 months old tomorrow and I haven’t typed one word.

(Owen, this in no way reflects how much I love you.)

(Sophie, don’t go thinking you are more important than your little brother.)

Is it silly to write about Owen’s birth? Maybe, but I will. I guess whatever facts remain memorable after 5 months are the important ones. I never went into too many details here about Sophie’s birth because it was horrific. Blindingly horrific. Not so with Owen’s. It was ideal in every way.

Final thoughts as my children came into this world:

With Sophie-This is the last push. I am either going to die or she’ll come out. Either way this pain will be over.

With Owen-Holy crap. I just launched him from my loins.

Owen’s birth was rather quick and it was painful, but only the you-know-it’s-supposed-to-feel-this-way kind of pain. I loved the nurses who cared for me and I swear I felt like I was in a bed and breakfast the entire time. (Just dial “chef” to order room service!) If ever you find yourself ready to have a baby in southern NH, I highly recommend the Monadnock Community Hospital.

There have now been three times in my life that my heart has completely filled and overflowed with love. When I returned home from the hospital, all I could do was look at Sophie and cry. She suddenly seemed so grown up. And in my arms I held my son.

It’s been 5 months and I’m already forgetting the torture of being up every hour for days on end. I vaguely recall feeling trapped in some kind of hopeless, sleepless, life-sucking place…but it’s fading. Now we mostly smile. We know how fortunate we are.

Owen couldn’t be sweeter. He is so easy and happy. He giggles and coos and makes funny baby noises at us. And have you seen those blue eyes? HE’S SO FREAKIN ADORABLE.

And Sophie…where do I even start? She’s our little pal. There were about 2 weeks that were rough after Owen was born. That really threw her for a loop and she sure let us know. But that has passed and she’s back to her amazing self. Making us proud every day.

We’ve spent the winter inside growing and tending to our little family. Now it’s Spring and it’s like we are coming out of a little cocoon. We’re happy and fluttering all over the place.

Funny Girl


It is my mission to capture our talking genius for you all. As soon as possible, there will be new video footage to share with you.

Also, today is my birthday. It’s strange how ever since I had Sophie, my birthday is a day that that I think more of my mom than myself. What did I do on that day 30 years ago? My mom gave birth to me. We should be celebrating that.

I am my mom’s Sophie. And it’s amazing when you all of a sudden understand how much you are loved. To think that she looked at me the same way I look at Sophie. I’ve written and deleted so many words, I can’t describe why my eyes are watering.

Anyway…It is my plan to make sure that Sophie appreciates ME every year on her birthday. And the best part is that the more kids I have, the more birthdays I will get!



Sophie is almost 15 months old.

These are some things that have made me smile lately.

Sophie cracks up when she hears certain words. Her current favorites are ‘freckle’ and ‘waffle.’ She throws back her head and giggles.

She has recently insisted that we both read to her and put her to sleep at night. I love seeing her run down the hall to get Jeff all clean and snugged in her footed pjs. I love hearing Jeff reading to her.

I love how if you stop before the end of a line in her favorite books she can say the last part. I love playing with her damp curls as she’s brushing her teeth before bed. I love to kiss the side of her chin as she’s tilting her head back and drinking from her sippy cup.

As soon as she hears a beat, Sophie starts to dance. She smiles and proudly bounces her legs. Sometimes we are treated to some interpretive dance-type arm movements as well.

I love her favorite “it” phrases: Hold it, get it, dropped it, broke it, fix it, kiss it, etc.

I love when I come to the sliding door after work and seeing her notice me. She smiles so big and I see her mouth say. “MOM!” I love anytime she is still enough to rest on me. I love how she says, “Come. Come.” with extended arms when she wants you. I love how she snuggles with us in bed in the mornings.

In a matter of a few months Sophie has ceased to be a baby. She’s a walking and talking little girl. She’s getting more fun by the second. I have to slow myself down sometimes. I get so excited for all the things we can do together soon. Will she be crafty? Will she like to go to the pond with me? Will she sit still long enough for me to do her hair?

I can’t wait to see who she is. But I try not to think about all of that too much because it takes a little away from right now. These days are just more blinks.

The three of us are in a very nice place. But I still get giddy when I think about where we are headed.


Our little girl can talk! As I said before, Sohpie loves the letter B and says many B words. However, none have excited her as much as her new favorite word. Duck. I think the letter B may be old news. Here comes the letter D.

Sophie enunciates each sound in the word duck. She says it perfectly and she knows it. She looks at you and beams each times she says the word or retrieves the duck on command. Today she even saw a photo of a duck in a magazine and said, “Duck.”

She’s smart.

she’s assertive!

Our little girl knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to let us know about it. Not even a year of life experiences and this mini munchkin already has some pretty strong opinions. Not being able to talk hasn’t cramped her style either. She has adopted some sure-fire ways to get her point across.

Not walking/dancing/or otherwise carrying her somewhere fast enough? Sophie has developed the “giddyup legs.” She’ll alert you of your dawdling with quick kicks and a torso lift. This is a mild reminder. Warning! If not heeded, she’ll move on to something a bit more stern.

Take a prized possession away from Sophie and you’ll be faced with “rigid girl.” Her displeasure is voiced with a red face and a stiff extended limbs. Often this is paired with an arched back. Rigid girl goes into effect with such speed that dropping her is entirely possible.

For some reason, Sophie has grown to detest being changed into or out of clothing and/or diapers. This is when we see “spaghetti girl.” It’s as if all bones in her body have melted. She can twist and turn in amazing directions slipping through the firmest of grips. She either goes to bed without pants or we play “Where are your toes?” And it better be convincing.

Oh, I love her.



Attention Everyone!

Sophie has slept through the night for the first time!

And she was in her crib! I feel like leaping for joy on a hilltop in the wind.

We always said that things would be different once we got settled in our new home. I have to admit that I feared we were all talk. (I have a bit of wussiness in me.) You may know that Sophie was sleeping in our bed for the last 5 months. This wasn’t something that we planned. Our trip to RI in February somehow broke her sleeping mechanism and in order to stay sane, we just put her in our bed and I nursed her to sleep. Well, I had to nurse her to sleep almost every hour. Yes, I love her plump little arms wrapped up in me. Yes, I love being cuddled up with her. No, I can’t sleep with her crammed into my bossom each night. Sophie and I were just not sleeping. (I just learned that Jeff was sleeping fine. His motivation for needing her in a crib was to get our “marital bed” back.)

Even worse than the sleep deprivation was the constant fear of her falling out of the bed. Naps were especially nerve wracking as we’d have to barricade her in with pillows. I’d also have to lay down next to her until she fell asleep, which sometimes took 30 minutes or more. As you probably have gathered, I had absolutely no time away from our sweet little love. It was wearing on me.

So, I gathered all my patience and inner strength and attempted to change things. I had the help of the Sleep Lady. And it really worked! If I ever see the Sleep Lady I will hug her with all my might and kiss her on both cheeks. I learned to teach Sophie how to settle herself and get the sleep she (and we) so deparately needed. We’ve been doing it for about three weeks, but we saw results after the first three nights. Saying that those first three nights were “rough” would be an understatement. She cried and cried and resisted like crazy. I sat by her crib for all of it, sobbing and writing in a journal to convince myself not to give up. I am so proud to say that I didn’t give up. She’s slept in her crib ever since we began. We are all much happier.

Thanks for allowing me to share.

Now, Let’s talk about our little beauty. SHE IS SO ADORABLE! First of all, she is plump. Also, she is sweet and funny. If she sees my belly, she blows on it and looks at me with a huge smile. She gives love on command and she cracks up when we dance. The letter B is her favorite. She tries to say words like bye, ball, and book. We’re convinced that she knows what they mean. She’s getting more playful and curious by the second. I want to show her off to everyone that we meet.

I feel so lucky that I have been able to have these past 3 months home with her. Even though two of them were filled with packing, moving, unpacking, and other nomad-like behaviors we were all together. There was plenty of time for kisses and attacking. She’s our girl.

Now that we’re settled and sleeping, expect more pictures and more updates.


I’m a mom.

Has it really been only two months? I feel like it’s been a lifetime since I last wrote. I guess it has been a lifetime.

My life now is made up of three hour blocks of time. Feed Sophie. Entertain Sophie. Convince Sophie to sleep. Repeat. (Oh yes, throw in 7 1/2 hours of teaching on weekdays.) She’s incredibly adorable and all it takes is one smile to melt away the frustration of spending 5 hours trying to get her to fall asleep. (I’m not exaggerating. That was yesterday.) All I want to do is play and cuddle with her. I kiss her continuously.

I felt like a real mom the other day. We went shopping for a gift for our new baby friend, Samantha Rose Reading. I knew what to look for! Clothes that snap up the front make dressing much easier. I’m feeling more confident each day. I’m learning what Sophie’s sounds mean and how to comfort her.

(Can I just say one more time how much I love to kiss her? Her cheeks are so round I can’t even stand it. Just look at her face!)


I can’t get over how quickly she is changing. It’s only been 2 months and she’s so different than the helpless bundle we took home from the hospital. She smiles all the time in response to our smiles and coos. She has found her hand and can move it to her mouth. Mobiles are her favorites and she follows her animal friends around and around with her eyes. (Lady Monkey, Big Man Elephant, Mr. Stripes, and Jenny Giraffe have been her best friends since she opened her eyes.) Sophie’s arms used to flail up and smack dangling toys, but just the other day she impressed us with a new trick. Whenever I dangled a toy above her left side, her left arm slowly reached for it! I moved it slowly to the right and her right arm reached for it! That happened in a day. See how we can spend hours just staring at her? She’s growing so much each day.

Having a baby is the only way to truly feel the truth of certain things. Although she always tells me, I finally understand how much my mom can love me. And everyone says it, but I feel what a miracle life is.


That’s me, B.round. It stands for Best Round. Sometimes I’m also Purple Round or Blue Round, depending on what I’m wearing. I love hearing Jeff call me that. While I’m sure I’ll be happy to get back to my normal non-round shape, I know I’ll miss being B.round.

Well, I’m done with work for a while. Remember how I teach at a year round school? It worked out perfectly that my vacation happened to fall right now. I have two and a half weeks until Sophie’s due to arrive and I just know she’s going to cooperate and give me a a week and a half more than that. We’ve been telling her that October 28th would be a nice date. That would be 5 years to the day that Jeff finally gave in and kissed me. And that’s only 8 days late, not out of the question. Then I’ll be able to take off November and December for sure. We’ll see what things look like in January. It’s great because even if I have to go back for a bit in January, February is my next scheduled month off. I’ll be back for good in March. I’m so thankful to be able to have that much time at home getting the hang of being a mom.

In the meantime, we’re trying to get things ready, but most of all we’re just being with each other. We are very well aware of how things will change. Can you believe how quickly the time has passed? We’ll blink and this part of our lives will be a memory. I think dirty bathrooms and cobwebs in the garage can wait.

Oh, we went to a childbirth class this weekend. I won’t go into details, but I’m glad we went. I left feeling a little excited. (Yes, for the birth!) It sounds silly, but I’m kind of pumped up. I’m going to feel so proud of myself and Jeff is going to be the best at keeping me calm. I love his voice. I just know we’ll do a good job.

Sophie’s moving around in here like the knobs of a massage chair. Just slow rolls and hard protrusions. Our midwife said she’s a nice little package. Her head is down and everything looks good. She’s been very kind to me, I don’t feel very uncomfortable at all. I just can’t bend over as quickly or compactly, fit into small spaces, or snuggle myself close enough to Jeff. Little inconveniences, that’s all.

I really love being pregnant.

she’s robust.

The radiologist said robust, but I keep hearing rotund. Robust is a better description for a fetus. If she was described as rotund I’d be afraid. I’m the one that’s getting rotund. But before I tell you about me, look at our baby:

Can you see her? Don’t worry, it took us a while too. She wasn’t very cooperative…all scrunched up against my side with her hands in front of her face. She was so snuggled up that no amount of rolling and prodding could coerce her into a more photogenic position. So her head is sort of horizontal across the picture. Her forhead is on the left and you can see the eyelashes on the right eye. Her two hands are in front of the rest of her face. They are the white things in the middle. See her now? She’s kind of cute, I think. This is the last time we’ll see her until she’s born.

I’m almost 29 weeks pregnant and everything I read calls this the homestretch. Homestretch? I feel like I’m just getting started. I’m just getting round and I really like it. I love round things, and now now I’m one! I get to feel Sophie move every day and I can rub my own belly whenever I want. I also like it when people come up to me and put their hands on me. It has made me smile every time. I feel so lucky.

At this point, I’d like to be pregnant forever. I’m comfortable and rotund. (Okay, there were a few 100+ degree days when thought my head was going to start spinning around, but just a few.) I always feel special and excited. I do want to have our own little family, it’s just that the future seems so unimaginable. It’s weird to think that this life that I have been so happy with will go away. I’ve been told that soon I won’t even remember what it was like before Sophie was born. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I kind of don’t want to budge from this warm little spot.

One more thing about this homestretch- no more size comparisons. I know, just boring measurements. Do you know of anything that is about 2 pounds 10 ounces and 14.5 inches long? It could be anything. We’ve had enough produce comparisons, though. Try for some kind of animal. That would make me laugh.

a banana?

Week 23: Your baby weighs a little over a pound and is about 8 1/2 inches long — the size of a banana.

These weekly updates are silly. From fruits to crustaceans and rodents to bags of coffee beans, they have compared the size of our baby to the the weirdest things. And it’s inconsistent too. Don’t you think a bag of coffee beans is bigger than a banana? (A bag of coffee beans or a box of sugar was last week’s size.)

But anyway, she’s a pound now! I have been feeling her move around everyday. It’s so comforting. It makes me feel warm and happy. Every morning right before the kids come and then in the afternoon and always when I lay down for bed. Just this week Jeff felt her with his hand and his face. (Way to go Sophie! She’s already kicked him in the face!) My favorite time of day is when Jeff and I settle down for bed and he has his hand on my belly while she’s bumping around in there. Before that her kicks were just enough for me to feel from the inside. They are getting so strong now that I actually saw my stomach move this morning.

I just imagine her floating and flipping like an astronaut. When I was little I watched that movie Space Camp and I was fascinated with being weightless. That’s how she lives now…inside of me! She has enough room to bounce all over the place. I love it.

I also went clothes shopping for the first time. My thoughtful and generous friend, Laura, has sent me a ton of maternity clothes to borrow, but I couldn’t resist getting some for myself. I am not quite ready for moo-moo tops, but my regular clothes have been squeezed into for the last time. It was fun going shopping. I even tried on girly dresses. I used to see pregnant women in whispy summer dresses with protruding bellies and think they looked so cute. I always wanted to look like that when I was pregnant. Well, it’s like what happens with my clod-hopper feet. What looks adorable on other people doesn’t quite look the same on me. I felt like a big wrapped present. And it doesn’t help that most of dresses were pink and frilly with bows. Like I was a baby myself. Except for this one dress…And I bought it! (But only after finding it on the sale rack and trying it on twice, then going back a week later and trying it on again.) It’s not exactly me, but it’s kindof cute. I’ll send a picture the first time that I wear it.

My body has suddenly started to transform. I’m not sure what to make of it. My belly is definitely round and getting more so by the day. I’ll spare you the details about my breasts, but they are also morphing. Ah! I kind of like it, but it’s strange to be so out of control of what happens to my body.

I guess that’s all for now…I’ll try not to let so much time pass before the next time I write.

Oh! Good news! I found out that my weeks change on a Thursday instead of a Sunday! So now I can say that I am into my next week 4 days sooner!